I missed you —
The time will come when, with elation, you will greet yourself arriving at your own door, in your own mirror, and each will smile at each other's welcome and say: sit here. eat. You will love again the stranger who was your self; you will give back your heart to itself—to the stranger who has loved you all your life, whom you maybe ignored for another, the one that knows you by heart.
Take down those love letters from the bookshelf you keep them on, take down the photographs of the past that do not represent you anymore, and the desperate notes written by a broken you. Peel your own image from the mirror; sit and feast on the greatness of your own life. After this, I promise things will change.
I've only ever gone through this cycle one other time in my life and that was after my grandpa passed away two years ago. I remember completely losing myself during that time and I returned a different person. How could I not? A big part of me left when my grandpa left, but it was through all of this that a new Andrea was born. That Andrea, is no longer the one I am today but, with time, I have learned to accept change and let all control go when it comes to different directions and paths in life.
This winter I was taken through a cycle of change that at first I felt I would be on forever. With complete happiness in my heart I can finally say that I am okay with the changes that happened in my life during these months because they have shaped me into the woman I knew I could be. During this time I learned how to forgive.
When it comes to forgiveness, in my opinion, people may think that by doing so they are letting that person off the hook. Though I felt this way before, I do not think this is the case. By forgiving someone you are not letting them off the hook; instead, you are relieving yourself from a negative feeling that might unable you to move forward. You are simply allowing yourself to not hold in any dark energy any longer. You can, and should, still hold others accountable for their actions, or lack-of actions. Forgiveness takes time, it is a process not an event. Though it might take you some time to work through your emotional problems before you can forgive, I encourage you to do it so you can live a more positive, and emotionally healthy life. Forgiving may also open the door to new opportunities with this person. A new chapter may begin with your forgiveness and, without it, you may never know the possibilities that come afterward.
Another tip when it comes to forgiveness is to remember that even if it is not asked for, you should still forgive. Memorize and repeat this over and over: forgiveness is about your own attitude, not their actions. The most important aspect of forgiving is that forgiveness does not mean forgetting.
Memories may be triggered in the future, which is why forgetting does not relate to forgiveness. Remember that when thoughts of past hurt occurs, it is what we do with them that counts. If you find yourself remembering past events or past hurts, be thankful for the reminder of how important forgiveness truly is. Let go of the resentment; it's time for emotional healing.
So, it is with wide open arms that I welcome the new me, the new chapter in my life, and the people who decide to journey with me. I spent too much time at war within the walls of my own skin and I decided that I can no longer be scared to tell everyone that I am beautiful. I have done the work to get myself here.