• I'm not quite there yet.
.."and will I ever be?" has been the question I have repeatedly asked myself these last few months.
I've been introduced to a monster I never thought I would have to deal with – one that I know many people are familiar with, however.
It came into my life and stirred the pot almost immediately. It broke me down and though I wish it was gone, I know it is still lingering about.
I started to feel like it had taken control of my life – I was no longer in the driver's seat, but instead I was a passenger pleading that the driver please slow down. it did not listen.
At first, rather than asking my loved ones for help I kept it all inside. I figured that would be the best way to hide. I shoved it away every time it tried to make its external appearance, until one day I felt suffocated. That is why I am writing this now. To let you know that it is alright to ask for help. Whether you ask a parent, a sibling, friend, or professional, it is ok. For me, it became necessary.
I think a flaw of mine is that I have always been too proud, so asking someone for help felt so unfamiliar to me. I questioned if I was doing the right thing many times until the answer made itself evident.
• What other choice is there?
I was so tired of feeling helpless and disconnected from the world, my family and friends.
I was so tired of being up until three in the morning with thoughts racing through my mind one night, only to be completely blank the next.
I was so tired of cancelling plans, and ignoring doing the things I loved to do.
I took the step and sought professional help, and for the first time in a long time I felt safe, cared for and understood.
Mental health is important
- acknowledge it
- find a healthy way to take action
- ask for help if you need it
- realize you're not alone
- finally, never be embarrassed or ashamed
* BE KIND TO YOURSELF.
Love and light to you all.